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Funny Maintenance Responses

After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.

The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known as submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No's 1, 3, and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

3 comments RSS of last 10 posts

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Unregistered Anonymous just had this one yesterday on Det: p: megatron in aft cockpit a little dim. s: de-configured megatron, and re-configured aft cockpit with optimus prime iaw ietms. if chuck norris ever flies this aircraft it will be absolutely unstoppable. area fod free.
posted 26 Sep 2011 - Reply - Permanent Link
Unregistered Anonymous Saw this one while i was working on planes.
P: Pilots seat cushion flat
S: Pilots seat cushion fluffed.
posted 20 Jan 2010 - Reply - Permanent Link
Lukas (1 posts) Lukas Hahahaha This is True, In Some repair station and the line maintence, happens the same thingsm but Its amazing that this airlines never had an accident with this record in their logbooks
posted 3 Oct 2009 - Reply - Permanent Link

new post [ expand all ]

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