WARNING: This is a JOKES section - the below answers are NOT to be taken seriously!
Your heart is only good for so many beats and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables!
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit, so you get even more of the goodness that way.
Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...Good!
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach!
Are you crazy?!? HELLO!! Cocoa beans?...another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!
If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Hey! Round is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"