Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call my dog "Sex".
He said, "I'd like to have one too."
Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said I didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 year old." He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night."
The Clerk said "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around.
I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television." He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honour, I had Sex before I got married."
The judge said "Me too."
Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me.
He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him.
A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?"
I said, "I'm looking for Sex..."
My case comes up on Friday...