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Reasons You Shouldn't Forward Me That Email

  1. I eat puppies, kittens, and other cute animals, and sending me pictures of them only makes me hungry for more.
  2. I've been on the Internet forever and have already seen/heard/smelled whatever you're sending before.
  3. You'd like me to remain your friend.
  4. I don't care if the kid dies from cancer.
  5. I have a sense of humor and that joke isn't remotely funny.
  6. If you forward that message to ten of your friends then a unicorn dies.
  7. You'll prove once and for all that I'm smarter than you.
  8. I am actually hoping to get robbed/mugged/carjacked.
  9. If I wanted to see pictures of babies, I'd buy an Anne Geddes book.
  10. If it doesn't have to do with making my penis bigger then I don't want it in my Inbox.
  11. Bill Gates already sent me my free Xbox, $1000, and tickets to Disney. I don't want to be greedy.

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